Tuesday, October 22, 2019

The rise of anal bleaching is an an indicator of how screwed up our body image is

I'd like to talk to you about anal bleaching. Aha! That got you reading. Good.

This post is about anal bleaching and how it is an indicator of how screwed up our body image is.

Most of us are now aware of these facts:
·         Fashion photos are airbrushed
·         40% of fashion models are anorexic
·         Filters mean even candid photos and videos are now altered

We know we're out of touch on what healthy beauty is about. However, most of us don't really comprehend the extent of the false beliefs we've picked up.

And this leads me to the anal bleaching. When you're making porn, lighting the action is a challenge. You've got two (or three or four etc) people standing up close together. You get shadows. And with high resolution being the norm now, you see every makeup smear, blemish etc.

So, hooray for software editors with artificial intelligence that can track moving objects. With the help of software, an editor can say, "Light up that butt!" and do it with the touch of a button.

The result is a clearer image, and a rear end that's unnaturally light in hue.

The average viewer doesn't know the image has been tinkered with. And after watching hours and hours of the stuff, a fan looks in the mirror or their partner and says, "Does that bum look too dark to you?"

Think I'm exaggerating?  Well, the first reports of dermatologists having non-porno star clients demanding anal bleaching appeared in 2005. Numbers kept increasing. And in 2016, the idea got another massive boost when celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian went public with their "improvements". Today there are over the counter creams for people who want to bleach their bums at home.

As Asian media is a bit shy about this topic, you may or may not have heard of anal bleaching. But my point is this: when hundreds of thousands of people become convinced that their bums are the wrong hue and we have cosmetic procedures and product lines for home treatments, you know how powerful and insinuating media messages are and how totally screwed up we are when it comes to healthy body image.

Bottom line: (pardon the pun) don't feel guilty if you have a body image issue. It's a consequence of being alive in 2019. Also, don't just sit there and take it.  

If you are:
·         Suffering from anxiety because you don't 'look right'
·         Purging after big meals
·         Punishing yourself for eating
·         Denying yourself food

See your family doctor, talk to a mental health professional, or engage a professional dietician at a hospital. There is help. Just reach out for it.

NOTE: Image by Claudio_Scott from Pixabay

Monday, October 7, 2019

No, you don't need to talk about it. Reliving the details of an attack, rape, robbery, sexual assault or other violation is not a mandatory step towards healing.

You know how in the films people who have been attacked have to relive the trauma before they get better? Well, that's a lot of bollocks.

Reliving the details of an attack, rape, robbery, sexual assault or other violation is not a mandatory step towards healing.

For some people talking about the event can be helpful. But for many, reliving it actually re-traumatises them.

As such, standard practice today is not to discuss the actual details of the event.

The classic steps towards helping someone who has had a bad time are these:
·         Help them feel safe.
·         Help them connect with their support network.
·         Help them deal with what happened by focussing on how it affects them now.
·         Help them integrate the trauma into the past, so they can focus on the present and the future.

So, suppose you were robbed a few months ago and you now find that when you step out of your house you automatically tense up and become anxious. Also, you're a bit afraid of talking to strangers.

Sessions would focus on this:
·         Help you feel safe.
·         Help you connect with your support network.
·         Help you manage and effectively change that fear of going out.
·         Help you manage and effectively change that fear of strangers.
·         Help you integrate it into the past, so you can focus on the present and the future.

A big part of the process would be talking about the shock and helplessness that usually follows an attack. We might discuss things like why you might feel somehow that you 'deserved' being attacked, and why so many people blame victims.

As part of the sessions, we would talk about how you can shut down that secret voice inside you as well as the idiots that blame you for being attacked.

We might also talk about the kind of depression that follows from pain (if you had bones broken, for example) and how to manage that.

BUT! We would not be talking about what happened during the robbery. Of course, if you insist we do, if you really think it helpful to you, then of course we can. But if you prefer not to, that's perfectly okay.

Again, going into detail about the event is not mandatory. You can heal without that.

I think it's important that this message gets out. Because there are victims who needs help but who are afraid of talking to mental health professionals because they think that they will have to relive all their bad experiences. So, be assured that you don't.

NOTE: Image courtesy Mary Pahlke at Pixabay